


Coffee Shop Civil War

by Crashthefandoms



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, American Sign Language, Civil War (Marvel), Deaf Clint Barton, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 06:01:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7347994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crashthefandoms/pseuds/Crashthefandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Avengers AU where Steve and Tony run competing coffee shops in a mall and their hilarious antics (also Nat and Clint with their nerdy tee shirt store watch and sip tea from Bruce's shop)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coffee Shop Civil War

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic on Tumblr a long while back after a friend requested the idea, so here it is!

The stage was all set. The eerie silence was almost too much to bear. His brown intelligent eyes stared into his valiant emerald eyes. 

“Cap.”

“Stark.”

Their hands firmly grasped each others’. The billionaire playboy had his usual cocky smirk plastered on his lips. 

“I hope you know what you’re doing, Tony.” Steve grinned

“I can run a multi-billion dollar company, I think I can run a little coffee shop for a day.” Tony scoffed at Steve’s innocent intimidation.

“The loser pays for dinner, for all of us.” Natasha pulled the two apart and directed them to their coffee shops directly across from each other. “My money’s on Steve of course.” She added at the last minute, just loud enough for Tony to hear.

Tony strolled confidently behind the counter of his coffee shop. He decided to give it a simple enough name, “Stark Industries’ Coffee”. 

“Honestly, Tony’s coffee shop’s name is pretty lame.” Clint shrugged as he signed to Natasha.

“You do realize I can _see_ you Clint!” Tony signed angrily from his coffee shop. 

“I know, but you do realize you accidentally turned on one of your coffee machines right?” Clint almost spilled his cup of tea in Bruce’s cafe right next to Steve’s shop. 

“What? No I-” Tony turned around and noticed that indeed, as he was signing he accidentally turned on one of the machines. There was coffee just about to spill over the container. “Shit shit shit!” He quickly turned it off. 

Meanwhile, in Steve’s shop, which was named “Capfiene”. 

“Well, what do you guys think?” Steve smiled at Natasha and Clint. His smile was so prideful of his clever pun of a name.

“It’s uh.. Nice?” Nat smiled sitting down next to Clint with a cup of green leaf tea in her hands.

“Capfiene, are you kidding me? Wow that name really sucks.” Clint signed under his table with one hand, but his other hand was in a thumbs-up motion above the table as he forced a smile. 

“You boys, ready? Remember the rules! You each have a small, medium, large, and extra large, all the same prices for both of you for each size. Whoever gets the most money wins.”

“You’re going down, Capsicle!” Tony grinned leaning forward with both hands on the countertop. 

“I wish you all the best, Tony.” Steve smiled politely with his arms crossed. 

A businessman walked into view. It was almost in slow-motion, the predators anticipating the prey. The man was adjusting his sleek black tie as he glanced over at both the coffee shops. He needed a jump-start, and what better way than coffee?

“Hey, you! Guy in the cheap suit! How about some delicious coffee made by Iron Man himself, huh? Huh?”

The man looked at Tony and scowled. “Do you seriously not remember my name?”

“Should I?” Tony asked passively.

“Stark Industries burned my company on a deal last summer! We were all set and then you waltzed in the room and poured your coffee all over the contract and proceeded to fly around the conference room in your dumbass Iron Man boots!”

“Oh, you’re that stiff? Yeah that was a fun start to my day! So, can I interest you in some Stark Supreme?”

“No!  I’d rather go to the one with the awful pun for a name!”

The man went to Capfiene and Steve thanked him generously and prepared him his coffee. 

“Thank you, at least _someone_ has class around here.” The man sipped his coffee and smacked his lips a couple times. “This isn’t actually half-bad.” He walked away. Steve was $2.50 richer than Tony to kick the competition off. 

That was only the beginning. More people walked by the two eager coffee businessmen. Tony got a group of college girls which boosted his profits. He of course wasted time signing their notebooks and bragging about being Iron-Man. “Yeah, I can fly. Beat up bad guys. Save the day.” 

Steve was shaking hands with people and smiling politely at them and constantly saying “I was just doing my job.” When thanked for his constant efforts in saving the world. He also reeled in quite a few bucks.

Nat and Clint were signing to each other nonchalantly in Bruce’s cafe. Bruce was behind the counter counting the inventory. 

A woman stopped by Nat and Clint’s table. “Excuse me?” She yelled very very slowly. “Sign Language is beautiful!” 

Nat and Clint just shared a look. “Lady, unless you want an arrow in your vocal chords. I’d suggest you stop making yourself look like an idiot.” Clint signed and voiced as Natasha just sipped her tea. The lady was appalled but just walked away. 

“How do you think our two coffee rivals are doing?” Nat nudged Clint’s arm.

“Not sure. As far as I can tell it’s neck and neck so far.”

“Hey Clint!” Tony yelled over the people in line talking to him. “Do you want some coffee? I got some nice bags of sugar, I got a whole bunch of coffee, I don’t know if you knew that. I also got-”

Clint turned his hearing-aids off and grinned to himself.

“D-Did you just turn your hearing-aids off, Barton?!” Tony signed frantically with his arms in the air, which in turn knocked over a few cups of coffee he had just finished and set on the counter. “God dammit!”

“Nice.” Nat and Clint fist-bumped.

The competition lasted for the next few hours. Both shops were getting customers and selling quite well. The feedback on their coffee-making skills were mostly positive. The only marks against either of them being against Tony in that his quickly-made second attempts after spilling some coffee were reported to be a bit bland in flavor. Tony naturally blamed Clint for being a little sassy jackass to him. 

“Are you Captain America?” A little boy with his father approached Steve’s counter.

“Yes I am.” Steve replied smiling down at the little fair-haired boy wearing a Captain America t-shirt. 

“You’re my hero! Can I hold your shield?”

“Sure! Just let me get out of here.” Steve walked out from behind the counter with his shield and held it on the ground for the little boy to hold the handles on the back. 

“Thank you so much, I hope you don’t mind.” The father took a picture on his phone. 

“It’s no problem, really.” Steve shook the man’s hand. “May I interest you in some coffee, even some water?” 

“That’d be great actually. Coffee for me and water for him.”

“On it!” Steve saluted and prepared some coffee and pulled out a fresh cool bottle of water. 

Nat smiled leaning forward at her table to see the scene unfurl. “Well, Steve’s definitely winning in the customer service department.”

“Don’t you mean _Deafi_ nitely?” The archer grinned, only to be responded with a punch to the shoulder.

The speaker over the mall declared that the mall was closing in half an hour. Nat and Clint stood up and each told Steve and Tony the competition was over and to come out their shops. 

“Remember, the loser has to pay for dinner for all of us at a restaurant of the winner’s choosing.” Nat cleared her throat and read aloud from the post-it-note where she wrote down the numbers for each competitor. “The winner is…”

Tony stood confidently with a smug smirk. “Me.” He muttered with so much confidence radiating off the single syllable it was almost second-nature. But that’s to be expected, since he was a self-absorbed billionaire who loved his toys too much.

Steve on the other hand was standing upright in a respectful manner with his arms behind his back and a small smile on his lips. He wasn’t worried about whether he won or lost. He was just glad to meet so many different people and to make their day, like that little boy he took a picture with. His lips almost had a mind of their own as their smile extended even more at the thought. Steve even reached out his hand towards Tony and shook it. “This was fun, Tony, we should do this more often.”

“Steve! By 50 cents!” Natasha exclaimed.

“What?! 50 cents?! How?!” Tony was enraged. He could take losing…okay, maybe that was a lie, but still it was so damn close! 50 cents?!”

“It was the water bottle he sold. Sorry Tony. But the poor billionaire has to pay dinner for all of us.”

The five of them all went to Bruce’s cafe to wait for Bruce to finish cleaning up and close up his shop.

Just as they were about to head out to go to dinner, Clint stopped walking.

“Wait! Guys, my hearing-aid just died. Do any of you have batteries?”

“I do!” Tony replied with a grin. 

“Oh, cool, can I have one?”

“Sure. But it’ll cost you.”

“Cost me?! Are you kidding me? What?”

“51 cents.” Tony smirked.

“Oh go fuck yourself, Tony” Clint signed walking on ahead.


End file.
